Mar 15-20 - Dust Project

Mar 15 (25/365) - A bit moody, this one. Liked it, though. Have to stop being scared of full-body shots here...



Mar 16 (26/365) - Not what I was going for, but the light was gorgeous.



Mar 17 (27/365) - Black and white with black and white in black and white. I was short on inspiration.



Mar 18 (28/365) - One of my four wedding dresses. Couldn't get it zipped, but it made for a pretty picture, with my birthday tulips from my husband.



Mar 19 (29/365) - Bedtime story. The blur just made it for me.



Mar 20 (30/365) - Trying out the new tripod. Also a new prop. Still not sure if I like.

Missed Mar 21 for shooting; will start next Monday with Mar 22.

(Image © Informal Moments Photography)

Mar 13

(22/dust)

The self-portrait almost defeated me today. But it couldn't overcome my good mood. Because it's spring outside. And my windows are all open. And the breeze is coming through smelling like home, because we have a boxwood hedge here, and boxwood is my Virginia scent.

So. Take that, camera! You can stare and click and blur at your leisure, but you can't embarrass me today!


(23/dust)



(23/365 SOOC)

Did I mention it is spring?



(Images © Informal Moments Photography)

Mar 12 - A Little Dreamin'

(22/365)

And yes, I'm thinking about Paris. Dunno why. Maybe it's the lines on the Eiffel Tower, the thought of being somewhere I haven't ever been, hope for a little adventure that doesn't require any major planning because it pretty much can't happen with two kids under three and my health issues.

It makes for a nice mental getaway on a rainy day.

I'm slowly revealing the new house behind the photos - there is less cluttered space here, which is so nice for opening my eye up. The colors were a little weird today with the cloudy; I couldn't get my skin tone balanced right, so I went to a b/w conversion to save time.


(21/dust)


(Image © Informal Moments Photography)

Mar 11 - Me, Her Mama

(19/dust, 21/365)

Decided to have fun with the kid today - the bigger one who has had to do a lot of fending for herself recently.

I was on my back, working on a photo of my toes (which didn't come off, thank God - I needed those toes to shoot again another day!) and she lay down next to me on the floor.

And we did this before she got on my tummy and played for the shot above:


(20/dust)

Happy Thursday, and all that. The little one's awake now. Guess my time here is up!

(Image © Informal Moments Photography)

Mar 10 - Learning Abandon

(17/dust, 20/365)

I almost never look in the mirror now - I don't have time.

I hate looking people in the eye. It leaves me too vulnerable.

I'm not a big fan of my post-baby body right now. Things stick out where they shouldn't stick out.

I wrestle every day with the whole principle of the thing. The practical reasons for the project are numerous, but they don't shut up the voices in my head that tell me I shouldn't take pictures of myself, just as I shouldn't spend too much time in front of a mirror, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I don't shoot beauty simply for the sake of beauty. Most times, the beauty I find is something to which my spirit responds, something that tells me about God, something that lifts my heart to Him.

Self-portraits don't do that for me yet.

As a photographer, I have to look at my own composition, my own focus, and decide whether it is a good photo. Never mind the expressions I manage just in time for the self-timer. I've never been a poser. I hate my own posed shots. I hate seeing my own concentration or fakeitude or discomfort.

I'm not really into the self-worth doctrine flying around the artistic world around whose edges I occasionally lurk. My worth comes from Christ; I am not ashamed to say this. It keeps me humble - and not in the groveling sense. In the sense that I am dust; I am NOT all that.

The catch for me is the concept of humbling myself as Jesus did to lay my own glory aside, despising my shame. Because there is no shame for me in Him.

I can capture that in anyone who knows Him.

Taking it for myself is another story.

This project is making me face me before God. It is a gut-wrenching, truth-telling experience I didn't expect. I see my face now; I am more aware of my attitudes and responses. I know how self-conscious I really am.

I hope to gain un-self-consciousness. There's something so beautiful about abandon. Living without measure. Life abundant.

...

Pulled out the wedding veil to mess with on a short shoot today, and had a hey-day with cropping in processing. I went a little closer with the lens - the house is still a mess. This was my second choice shot, no veil:


(18/dust)

I need to find some more people to photograph. Not that I have time.


(Image © Informal Moments Photography)

Mar 9 - This is a Test

(16/dust, 19/365)

Finally home, finally grabbing the camera again. I'm not so good at taking pictures when the place is crazy. I don't find beauty easily in the mess. I am trying to keep a few mostly-clear walls in this house (since we actually have the space for it now) to use for clean backgrounds.

I dropped the camera onto the couch (my tripod is broken, enough to send the camera end over end two weeks ago - broke the flash, but the camera and lens were okay, thank God) and set the self-timer, just to test. It was on an odd angle, which annoys me, but I don't have the time or energy to worry too much about it right now. The fact that I got a shot is in itself a feat, not to mention the shower, blow-dry, and clothing.

It's been a crazy couple of weeks.


(Image © Informal Moments Photography)

Feb 18 - Freeze

(8/Dust, 10/365)

I hate photography sometimes. It tells the truth. Sometimes it's a truth about happy, about love, about others. With a self-portrait project, it tells the truth about me.

I didn't expect that.

I don't know what I expected, actually. I've done enough head shots in the mirror that I figured I'd just get frustrated with myself. But I hadn't done the timer thing. Hadn't stood nervous in front of the lens, trying to figure out what to look like. Hadn't had my picture taken when I was alone with myself and my thoughts, when I was having a good day - or even a bad day.

As a photographer, I have to accept the quality of the photos I'm shooting here. I can't just keep shooting until I'm in a good mood, because I have two kids and a life to live. But as a person, it's hard to be so honest.

Pictures are meant to be seen. I don't shoot the things I want to keep private. But I'm an introvert, believe it or not. Words are one thing. Pictures - they're another.

These last few weeks have stop-start time for me. I am wavering between too many decisions, trying to figure out my priorities, trying to balance a constant-moving schedule, trying to regain my footing after Bredon's birth. It takes me longer than it takes some people, I think.

The song going through my head today is Switchfoot's Dare You to Move - "like today never happened before..."

It's the theme of my life lately.

Mercies new every morning. Grace for this honest, and Truth that doesn't end with me. A daily dare to live and move and have my being in Christ.

And every moment isn't like the frozen moments:





(Image © Informal Moments Photography)